Joyfully Retired

One of the most positive things about our aging population is our sense of humor. So many things happen to our bodies as we get older that joking about it all is better than griping and complaining. My daughter, Cerrin, sent me a bunch of “senior humor” pieces the other day and I thought I’d share some with you.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape. I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

I’ve sure gotten old! I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,

New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes

I’m half blind,

Can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine,

Take 40 different medications that

Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.

Have bouts with dementia,

Have poor circulation;

Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.

Can’t remember if I’m 89 or 98.

Have lost all my friends.

But, thank God, I still have my Florida driver’s license.

THE SENILITY PRAYER:

Lord, grant me the senility to forget the people

I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and

the eyesight to tell the difference.